Archive for August, 2009

Getting Along With the In-Laws Starts Way Ahead of the Wedding

Sunday, August 9th, 2009

It’s 12:00 noon. Only one hour give or take a few minutes prior to the wedding. Oh mine! my watch ticks faster than usual, or at least it seems that way. Heck! My sweaty hands only make it more difficult to apply make-up and do the zillion things yet to be done. “Why didn’t I hire a wedding planner?” I mused to myself. Why didn’t I think of what to give my in-laws?  Will I show up to my own wedding empty handed, except with a pair of sneakers ready to run away?  There had been 2 or 3 skirmishes. And both had given me signals. Hints, clues, premonitions that my mother-in-law was as a total bee-ach.  The way she treated my boyfriend Daniel like he was still his baby boy… I had heard my hubby-to-be was a mama’s boy, but not to the extent I witnessed! It was obvious that Danny loves her more than he loves me! I could only see myself, the next day, being ridiculed by everyone after Daniel, my then husband of only one day, literally threw the ring out the window, in a slow motion that seemed like an eternity. All this reaction because I complained about how his mom treated him. That was the first signal. MakeYourOwnYouAndIWoodenPictureFrame 14-931 3 medThe second signal, I won’t even mention, but let it be said it had to do with my wedding dress.These thoughts I just described were the figments going through my mind, fabricated by my imagination, in my sleep. Yes. I had been dreaming. And… no. My wedding wasn’t about to happen. It was in no way imminent. And, although I have my reservations, I can report that in the living world of the alive and risen, not in my dreams, my in-laws like me.The luxury of time was on my side. I had prepared the perfect gifts for both my mother and father-in-law. Both personalized gifts. Being one of those rare couples who have stuck together through thick and thin for over 30 years, I decided, for my  own wedding, to give my mother and father-in-law a personalized photo frame commemorating their love for each other. True. My dream may have given the impression that I dislike my in-laws, but rather than feeling negative about how I feel about THEM, what I really feel queasy about now is thinking that for all the strength I can ever muster to try to do my best, regardless of it, for them not to like me, or rather, for me to feel helplessly drawn to live in a future where we can’t make things work out between us. But I need to be practical, and, realize I am to some extent afraid of not being accepted by those who will be my new relatives. My inspiration came when, last Sunday morning, still in my pajamas, I saw my favorite photo of Daniel smiling as he carried me horsey-riding while on a cruise trip to Cancún.I immortalized that moment in what’s perhaps my favorite picture frame of all. I love wood because it brings me close to the natural world, of plants and animals I’ve always so adored. The engraving on my frame was the result of a laser burning process that left letters chiseled by a technology I don’t yet understand, but that I truly admire. I can tell the burning caused by the laser was intense, because my frame smells like and reminds me of the crackling sounds of the burning wood in the fire place. In short, I went back to the ETCTrade store one more time, weeks before the wedding and I purchased a perfect laser engraved wooden frame for them. More on the personalization on my next post.